Thursday, January 6, 2011

Cultivating Confidence-my new blog segment

A few months ago my daughter came home very upset and told me that she was not beautiful. She is in preschool and I thought to myself-- “do self-esteem issues start this early?” We always tell her she is so beautiful, that she does a great job and that we are proud of her. It took me back to when I was younger and had the same issues. My parents built me up every day, but I didn’t believe I was beautiful. I was short and skinny. I got picked on a lot. I think my quick wit developed from being picked on when I was younger.

Growing up, I hung around popular people, but was not popular myself. I think that is almost harder than being completely unnoticed. I played all kinds of sports, but didn’t really excel at anything. I always wanted to be better but lacked the discipline to try to be the best. I could absolutely relate to my daughter’s issue.

After the discussion with my daughter, I decided that I was going to do something positive for her and every person who may have issues with self esteem. I decided to recruit people I know to talk about their confidence issues and provide a positive message. I sent out a message on Facebook and put my friends on notice. I told them I was going to take their picture and have them help me. One of my friends who responded is out of state, but wanted to be a part of it. I am starting this in conjunction with my friend, Melissa Campbell, of Preserved Photography in Bentonville, Arkansas.

For those of you who don’t like unsolicited advice, take it with a grain of salt. We are all unique, but we can learn from others if we choose. You may not be able to relate to every person we feature on the blog, but it may help you understand others better. We hope that we can bring a positive message about confidence and self-esteem. Please share this with your friends, their teens or anyone you know who likes a good read. This is going to be a wonderful journey for us all.

I hope to make this a bi-weekly post. It will show up every other Friday, until I can talk everyone I know into spilling their insecurities with you!

My story

I, like most women, can rattle off many things about myself that make me insecure. I wear a size 10 in shoes, which means I should be much taller than I am. I am a petite 5’4”, which means you can tell I have big feet! I used to have an overbite-a really bad overbite. I have a little bit of a lazy eye on one side. When I get tired you can really tell. The natural shape of my eyebrows is a triangle, kind of like Raggedy Ann. I am so thankful for tweezers! I was always jealous of my friends with a tiny waist. I have the “tomboy” figure which means I have no waist. I am officially almost half and half with white and black hair. I could keep going, but you get the point!

You might think after all that self loathing that I don’t have any self esteem, but I do. I would tell you that braces have made me love my smile now. I love that people who really know me associate me with being happy and always smiling. I may not be over all of my insecurities, but I am happy with the person I have become. Many of my successes in life were a result of other monumental failures. This has led me to adopt my favorite saying “it is what it is.” There are times that you can’t change what has happened but if you keep moving forward you may not want to look back.

My best advice is to surround yourself with people who are your real friends. You need friends who will tell you the truth, but who don't bring you down. You need friends who will encourage you and challenge you to be better. At times there will be people who will say bad things about you. It is hard to see at the time, but it can be from their own insecurities. Make sure your "friends" aren't doing that to you. It can be difficult to make new friends but it can be much better for your self-esteem in the long run.


  1. Georganne ChamnessJanuary 7, 2011 at 6:56 AM

    I love this! You are such a beautiful person inside - which is the most important- and out. It is so hard growing up these days. I say "you go girl"...I am right there behind you!

  2. Love the new segment. And also love your eyebrows. ;)

  3. Thanks, ladies! I hope everyone can relate!

  4. I read you blog first thing this morning and found myself thinking about all the things I love about you since. I am going to share some these here:

    (1) You are inately honest about your critique of someone - therefore if you are complimenting, which is what I am most familiar with, its obvious its how you feel and not just something you say. This is true when you have critism to share - and your delivery encourages people to excel the next attempt (I have seen this side as well). You are an individual I talk about often when I am asked about good leadership and guidance skills from a supervisor. I strive everyday to embody these traits.

    (2) You are a nerd (I say this with love, as I epitomize nerd) and creative at the same time. Its like you entire brain is working at all times. I don't think there is a definition for a "whole-brain" user, but I call it vibrant and inspired.

    (3) You are not beautiful, you are stunning. I could list the outside characteristics I admire in you, but what truely makes you amazing is the inside. You are caring, wise, understanding, and supportive.

    Love you Jack!

  5. I love it! Thank you for sharing!

  6. Let's just say your daughter has big shoes to fill....(and lots of them!)