Thursday, April 14, 2011

Cultivating Confidence-Allison's story

Growing up I moved about every two years. When I was younger, it was fun and exciting, but as I got older I did not like it. When I was in eighth grade we moved from Wyoming to Colorado. Then in ninth grade, I moved from Colorado to New Mexico. I hated being the new girl. I felt like people were looking at me and judging me. I had a whole list of insecurities. I hated my nose and my profile especially. I did not want to be at a new school where everyone is looking at the new girl. I didn’t really want to make friends or have to meet new people. Eventually I made some great friends in New Mexico and loved living there. In fact, I moved back a few years ago.

I wish I could say that I do not have any insecurities now that I’m older, but that would be a lie. There are still things that bug me about myself, but I think you just come to accept yourself better. I know my nose is big, but I get it from my Grandma Pauline and she was an amazing woman, so that makes me proud. I rarely even think about my profile now and at one point I remember hating to sit at a basketball game or somewhere with people all around. That seems so silly now. I think we come to realize that there are way more important things in the world than us and our looks. As girls, we are always conscious of our looks, but as adults they do not consume us. Now, I am proud of my accomplishments and my children. I want to be a strong person for my girls and help them overcome their fears and insecurities. I do not think you can go through life without feeling there are things you’d like to change about yourself, but you can learn to love and appreciate all that you are and all that you have.

I am now the mom of three beautiful girls. I want to be a role model to them, but I still catch myself complaining about this or that. They always say, “Oh Mom!” I am making a conscious effort not to be critical of myself. I also always try to support them and point out the positive aspects of all situations. I want them to be able to walk with their heads held high, to be compassionate of others and to love themselves for who they are. I think they are well on their way, but I will always be here to help them overcome obstacles they face. I wish for a second we could see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us the most! I know we’d all love that person very much.

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